I was reading about how the expansion Seattle Sounders just signed a good guy. After the article, I started reading this guy’s comment, and decided this topic needs a writin’. Then I finished reading his comment, and realized there’s nothing left for me to say. So here, I’ll paste it. Real Class-A blogging in this joint.

“yea the mls can’t make up their minds on team names. the quakes or the sounders or the rapids are american names, and i’m fine with that, its america. but for a few years they were going through a “europeans are good at soccer, so why don’t we try to be more european?” faze [sic] and so they changed everyone’s names.

my complaint is the way they changed the names. why not royal salt lake? its the mormon capital of the world, not the hispanic! also why fc dallas and toronto fc? here in america, it’s called soccer (as much as i hate it), so it should be sc dallas and toronto sc (actually it should be dallas sc).

so basically they thought they could make the mls seem more european, while not actually doing anything to do so, like rescheduling it to a regular season or not having playoffs.

such is life for a soccer fan in america…”

—Giggsy91411, FOX Sports message boards

Imagine this. You’re interviewing at Coca-Cola for a job. Well, sort of. You’re standing outside Coca-Cola headquarters with a megaphone, and you want a job. You think you’ve got a shot. After all, you were the #1 Vernor’s Ginger Ale salesman at your branch (before it went out of business) for 3 years running. You’re invited to every global sales conference and industry trade show Vernor’s corporate office can afford to send you to. You even did a brief stint at Dr. Pepper for a full fiscal quarter. Coca-Cola MUST have heard of you. Seen you in action. Caught wind of your success. Surely they WANT you.

Beaming with confidence, you lift the megaphone to your mouth.

“Ladies and gentlemen of Coca-Cola, consider this my official announcement. It would be my honor and pleasure to work for you. I’ve seen how great you are at selling soda, and I believe a reputed salesman like me could contribute to the further success of your company. Now, don’t expect me to come in and compete with a true giant like Pepsi, but if you need a person to fill your payroll and talk to from time to time, I’m your guy. I’m ready to leave Vernor’s for good and commit myself to you, provided Vernor’s is willing to let me go and you pay them enough money for me. All I request is that you accept my offer no later than January first. Until then I will be effectively unemployed.”

The windows at Coca-Cola headquarters are too reflective to see in… but you’re pretty sure the bigwigs on the other side got your message. Now all you have to do is wait for the call.

—

Apparently this story is not only nonfiction, but also a viable strategy in the world of soccer. Just ask Landon.

FIFA has claimed time and time again that they have full confidence that South Africa will be prepared for the 2010 World Cup that is a little more than a year and a half away.

So confident in fact that FIFA approved the Finance Committee to take out a $650 million USD insurance policy in the chance that either the next two World Cups would need to be postponed or relocated due to terrorism, natural disasters, epidemics, war, accidents or turmoil.

The World Cup in 2010 in South Africa has bigger issues than the concern that the stadiums or overall infrastructure would not be ready in time, it is the security of the fans. No insurance policy will protect them from the high violence rates in South Africa.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

The big “non-game” news this weekend was Tottenham finally parting from their coach Ramos. Ramos got Tottenham off to the worst start in the clubs history (2 points and no wins in the first 8 games). Tottenham replaced Ramos with Harry Redknapp, who until yesterday was still the coach at Portsmouth. Redknapp is the go-to guy when EPL teams are having serious trouble. Lets see how this week worked out for the Spurs.

• With a new coach and new hope, Tottenham got their first win of the season with a 2-0 victory over Bolton at White Hart Lane (this must be so embarrassing for you Bolton). While still at the bottom, Tottenham could get out of the relegation zone with one more win.

• Hull City continues its impressive run as they score a 3-0 win against West Brom. Hull is currently tied with Chelsea with 20 points and only 3 points behind table leading Liverpool.

• Manchester United was only able to get a point against Everton in a 1-1 draw. This leaves Man U 6th on the table with 15 points but they do have a game in hand.

• The big game this weekend was Liverpool at Chelsea. Liverpool were able to pull out a 1-0 win at Stamford Bridge. That is the first lost Chelsea has suffered at home in 86 games (that would be 4 and a half years). The win also put Liverpool 3 points clear at the top of the table.

Harry Redknapp may ruin my fun of trashing Tottenham every week.

Calling Didier Drogba a diver would be polite. For years Drogba has driven me up the wall with the diving and using his hands (successfully) to take advantage of the game.

Inter Milan coach (and former Chelsea and Drogba coach) Jose Mourinho told feelfootball.com: ”I am no longer Chelsea coach, and I do not have to defend them any more, but I think it is correct if I say Drogba is a diver.

”Drogba, Ronaldo, Torres and Van Persie are the divers. Who dives more? Who has won more penalties in recent years? But English football is the one that criticises the divers the most.”

So Mourinho bascially called four of the best players in the Prem divers. Maybe that is the trick to be good in the EPL?

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

• This was a boring week with the Big Four winning by big spreads, Man U won 4-0, Chelsea won 5-0. All the news came from the promoted teams.

• Hull City has continued their great run in the Prem with a 1-0 win against West Ham. After 8 weeks in the top flight, Hull City is in 3rd place on the table above Arsenal and Manchester United.

• Stoke took a big step in an attempt to get out of the regulation zone by beating…Tottenham (are you serious?) 2-1. Tottenham has hit rock bottom…again…somehow…by losing to the 2nd worse team in the league. This leaves Tottenham at the bottom with 2 points. How have they not fired the coach yet??

New York played a game is tippy-top form last night to take an important three from Columbus at Giants Stadium. There are a lot of isolated thoughts I had watching this game, so please enjoy my PowerPoint-style bullet list. In order:

• I hate watching soccer played on American football fields. HATE. Bonus: This one had an NFL logo in the middle of it. We already feel like a second-rate league, playing on a gridiron makes it feel like a second-rate sport… which of course it isn’t.

• Announcers with accents from the isles make the game feel at least twice as legit. It’s superficial, I know, but you know it’s true.

• Guillermo Barros Schelotto is really good.

• Juan Pablo Angel is really really good. This time.

• WHAT THE SHIT IS ANDY GRUENEBAUM DOING AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH MOST EMBARRASSING GOAL OF THE SEASON EVER!!!!!!! Ever seen a top-table team get scored on by the opposing goalie from 75 yards out? Check the replay of this game to broaden your frame of reference. This was the first goal in the history of the MLS ever scored by a goalkeeper.

In the past week the MLS has seen interest by a couple of big European clubs for different reasons.

Tottenham (currently last in the Prem) has reached an agreement with the San Jose Earthquakes (currently last in Major League Soccer). The two clubs have announced a “football and commercial development” partnership. Tottenham is looking to promote the club more in America and is starting with the Earthquakes stadium.

Major League Soccer rules prevent Tottenham using San Jose as a feeder program but loaning players is still permitted. It is a good decision for Tottenham, who sucks, to partner with the worst team in a 2nd tier league.

On the other hand, Spanish giant FC Barcelona is looking to invest in a new MLS team. Barcelona is partnering with a Bolvian entrepreneur to launch a new MLS franchise in Miami. Major League Soccer is looking to add two, yet to be named cities in 2011.

Miami had an MLS team from 1998 to 2001 till it folded.

Real Salt Lake opened the seventh soccer specific stadium last week. The Rio Tinto Stadium holds 20,000 fans and has real grass (I can’t stand fake turf fields). It is a beautiful stadium and cost $110 million ($65 million was private funding).

The Rio Tinto Stadium saw its first game last Thursday verse the New York Red Bulls. The game ended in a 1-1 tie.

The continual building of soccer specific stadiums shows the progress of soccer in the United States. These structures would not be added at $100 million if the league was failing. There is still some growth that needs to happen, but the MLS is on its way. Below are a few more shots of the stadium.

WHAT THE? is my review column of the World Cup Qualifiers and I only cover the interesting events.

This round of World Cup Qualifying was rather boring with the weekend seeing many draws and no awesome upsets.

-  Mexico was not able to handle Jamaica in a 0-1 lost. This is the closest thing to an upset all weekend. And while I love to see Mexico lose, I was hoping to see more.

- Italy was only about to grab a point against Bulgaria in a 1-1 tie.

- France had to come back from a 0-2 to end the game in a tie against Romania.

- Portugal was unable to score against Sweden in another intense 0-0 tie.

- On the other hand England was able to win (convincingly) against Kazakhstan, 5-1. This is bascially the way England is suppose to play considering the talent they have. The one goal by Kazakhstan was created off an error by Ashley Cole, which led to boos from the Wembley crowd. I get the England fans now, they want negative events to happen. Their team wins 5-1 and they boo a member of the team. England fans are pathetic.

Like I said before, it was a lame weekend of international games.