WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

• West Brom is trying to claw out of the bottom of the table and beat Tottenham 2-0 on either way. Tottenham got a huge boost after Redknapp took over, but has fallen apart over the last few games.

• Liverpool man-handled Newcastle 5-1 to stay atop the Prem. Then Steven Gerrard went out and got into a little tussle and wound up in jail for 21 hours. I’m sure being a big footballer he will get out of any real trouble.

• Chelsea had Fulham in the way of their chase to catch Liverpool. American Dempsey scored twice, the last in the 89th minute to force Chelsea into a 2-2 draw. Chelsea has finally lost ground to Liverpool due to their inability to put games away. Plus, it is great to see an American put the pain on Chelsea.

• Aston Villa managed a 1-0 own goal win against Hull. This puts Aston Villa firmly in 4th place in front of Arsenal. On the other hand Hull City has really fallen apart in the last few weeks.

• Manchester United and Arsenal both pulled in 1-0 wins to stay in the race of a spot in Europe.

Lets start with the understanding that I am a Crew fan. I was at the first game in Ohio Stadium and went to multiple games this season. Having Chad Marshall on the Crew is nothing but a positive. Chad was MLS Defender of the Year for a reason and every team in MLS would take him in a second if they could.

Chad Marshall should have gone to Germany.

The offer made by both the Crew and Mainz were said to be close. So we can remove any variables with pay.

Next, lets look at each team and their prospects:

The Crew will have the majority of the same players as last year (though that might change as Sigi might convince some to follow him), but I assume the team will be the same. The Crew will have a new coach that has been with the team for years, so again, no real change here. We also know that he won’t have to fight for a starting place. An injury is the only thing that will keep Marshall off the field. Chad has nothing else to win or prove in the MLS. He has won the Cup and the MLS Defender of the Year.

Mainz on the other hand is in Bundesliga 2. Mainz is currently in 1st place and are favored to win promotion to the Bundesliga next season. While Marshall might not walk in and be given a starting position, he has the skill to gain that position. Next year he could be playing in the Bundesliga against the Bayern Munichs of the world. Unlike his current standing in the MLS, Marshall has much to gain. Playing in a more competitive league, and more European exposure.

The next argument is getting a place on the US National Team. Well, he has been with the Crew for years and has gained little notice of the national team bosses. I’m not saying you need to play in Europe to make the National team, because that is not true. Just look at the upcoming team and where the majority of them are currently playing…it is not MLS. The majority of the players on the 2010 World Cup Team will not be from the MLS, and we wont even get into the starting eleven.

In the end my argument is Chad Marshall has mastered MLS. He has nothing else to prove in the States. It is time to expand his resume and skill set by playing in a different county (and I’m not saying Europe is the only place to go).

Again, I’m glad the Crew have him for another season and I look forward to watching him live again next season.

Blimey, I just read Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard has been arrested for assault.

Steve, I don’t know you very well (and the few times we’ve met have been frankly impersonal and unbearably discreet), but something has always rubbed me the wrong way about you. On the field (read: pitch) you come off as whiny and short-tempered. Maybe you look like someone from my childhood who was an asshole, which would be admittedly unfair but kind of freaky because given today’s news, it’s reasonable to now assume you actually are an asshole.

Of course, it’s very likely you were egged on. An excuse to be sure, but I am of the opinion that adults—especially those with piles and piles money—shouldn’t pound another person’s skull for any reason short of an attempt by that person to pound the skull of said adult. (Steve, you’re the adult in this scenario)

If you were attacked, Mr. Gerrard, please accept my apologies and carry on. I must concede that there is no better response to an attempted skull-pounding than a successful retaliatory skull-pounding of your own. But, assuming you were not attacked (given that you were arrested), I will stand by my position that you may indeed be an asshole.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

The Boxing Day fixtures had a few interesting results with one team falling apart.

• Tottenham is still just outside the relegation zone after a 0-0 draw with Fulham. Fulham continues its impressive form as they continue in the top half of the Prem table.

• Manchester United scored in the 83rd minute to scrape by with a 1-0 against Stoke. This keeps Man U in 3rd place with two games in hand.

• Manchester City throttled Hull 5-1 to get out of the relegation zone. Hull is slowly falling down the table and seems to be falling apart.

• Chelsea and Liverpool both won to keep the standard 1-point Liverpool lead on the table.

• Aston Villa continued its impressive play with a 2-2 draw against Arsenal to stay three points ahead of Arsenal on the table.

The next round of games are Sunday.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

This round was similar to last round. Manchester United was in Japan winning the Club World Cup, so they are now in forth on the table with two games in hand.

• With a 1-0 win against West Ham, Aston Villa is now in third place on the Prem table. It is nice to see someone other than the usual big 4 near the top of the table.

• The wheels came off at Hull City this weekend as they suffered a horrid 4-1 defeat to Sunderland.

• Can you believe this? Fulham is 8th on the Prem table as we come close to the mid way point in the season. This weekends 3-0 win against Middlesbrough sent them to 8th and they still have a game in hand.

• Manchester City on the other hand fell into the relegation zone with a 2-1 lost to bottom feeders West Brom. That wont make the new owners very happy. Time to start spending those billions on some talent.

• Ten man Arsenal managed to hold Liverpool to a 1-1 draw. Liverpool can’t expect to hold the top of the table with all these draws.

• Chelsea was handed a golden opportunity to take the top of the table after a Liverpool draw. And just like last week, Chelsea let it slip away with a 0-0 draw against Everton to maintain second on the table.

The upcoming weekend will be big with two rounds of games in 4 days.

I like to follow how Americans do in foreign countries, especially in Europe. Yanks Abroad is a great site that I watch closely. One of my favorite columns is 23 Tickets to South Africa. It is an article that places the top American talent in buckets based on the likelihood that they will be a member of the 2010 World Cup team.

We are about a year and a half from the 2010 World Cup and the young American talent has to start making a statement as we enter the final round of World Cup Qualifying (which will kick off here in Columbus against Mexico in February). I believe that Major League Soccer has risen the level of play of American soccer. We are better fit to complete on the world stage than we were 15 years ago. One reason is soccer is more popular, bringing more young talent in, but the MLS has provided better players and higher competition on a more consistent basis.

As I was reading the latest edition of 23 Tickets to South Africa, one detail caught my eye. There are very few MLS players on the list. Maybe a blog about Yanks in Europe would have a bias on players from across the pond. Possibly, but I don’t see any overwhelming mistakes. Maybe the level that is needed to play on the US National Team has risen above the level of MLS? Again, this is possible, but I don’t think we are quite to that level yet.

A quick breakdown from the 23 Tickets to South Africa article:

• Pack Your Bags Boys: 0 of 5 from MLS (though Donovan is on the list as Bayern)
• Nearly A Lock: 0 of 2 from MLS
• Fairly Safe Bet: 0 of 6 from MLS
• In A Battle: 2 of 4 from MLS
• Work to Do: 3 of 6 from MLS (including Marshall who is all but signed to play in Germany)

So, out of a possible 23 slots, MLS players hold 5. I don’t have a reason, or conspiracy theory on the original article. I just find it interesting that by 2010, MLS could have brought the level of play in the US up, then was surpassed. Meaning that playing in Europe is almost a needed skill to make the National Team.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the lastest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

Whenever a team in the race for the title slips up, the others never take advantage. This, again, was the week of the draws.

• Arsenal continued their inconsistent form this week with a 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough. The tie dropped Arsenal out of the top four due to Aston Villa winning this weekend to take the 4th spot.

• Liverpool had a chance to pick up some points as they played newly promoted Hull City at home. Then Hull City decided to go up 2-0 and Liverpool was reminded that these aren’t your traditional new boys. Liverpool was able to get 2 goals back and the game ended 2-2.

• With the Liverpool draw, Chelsea had the chance to take the top of the table. Then they stumbled over West Ham with a 1-1 draw. Again dropping points at the worst time. Or, just following the lead of the other big clubs this weekend. This left Liverpool on top with Chelsea one point behind in 2nd.

• The big game this weekend was Tottenham heading up to Manchester to play United. Since we don’t want to break the theme, the clubs tied 1-1. This was basically a win for Tottenham as they fight to stay out of the relegation zone.

Sigi Schmid is leaving. Tears.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the lastest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

• As Manchester United fights to get every point and stay in the title race, a game against Sunderland should be no problem. It took a goal in the 91st minute to beat Sunderland 1-0 at home. Man U is still in third, 6 points behind with a game in hand. Sunderland were playing their first game after Roy Keane quit as their manager.

• Hull kept their impressive season going with a 2-1 win over Middlesbrough. Hull still stands in 6th place, 2 points behind Aston Villa for a place in Europe.

• Arsenal are having a crazy season. They play well against the big teams and lose to the lowly teams. So this weekends game against Wigan was not a good sign. Arsenal did pull out a 1-0 win against Wigan and are in 4th place on the Prem table. Now that I think about it, how are they in 4th with all of their bad games?

• Tottenham were still sitting on the edge of relegation as they are coming up on the half way mark this season. A game at West Ham was not a give-me but Tottenham did pull off a 2-0 win. Tottenham are now sitting 15th on the table and has a little (very little) breathing room from the relegation zone.

• The most enjoyable game this week by far was the Everton – Aston Villa game. A battle of two of the best American (and Prem) keepers, Tim Howard and Brad Friedel. Lescott (Everton) scored his second goal in the 93rd minute to tie the game 2-2. Lescott ripped his shirt off and ran around the field as the home fans went nuts. Well, the game wasnt over and Ashley Young reminded Lescott that with a goal in the 94th minute (his second of the game) to win the game 3-2 and make Lescott look like a BLOODY WANKER!

My proposed refresh of the Columbus Crew’s logo has become unexpectedly controversial. I’ve had feedback of all kinds, ranging from enthusiastic support, constructive criticism, and (the most entertaining) inconsequential condescending ignorance. Shall we?

“Awesome! We need a new logo.”

Thanks. Join the Facebook group!

“NO!!! THIS IS RETARDED! WHAT A STUPID IDEA!!! NEVER CHANGE THE LOGO!!!”

Thanks! Are you employed?

“I have spent too long defending our logo to let it go now. Keep the old one!”

What if for some reason you couldn’t change your shirt for 12 years, and I offered you a fresh new shirt for free? I suppose you’ve defended being filthy for so long you’d rather stay that way. Good luck with those first impressions. I understand unconditional support, but save it for the team, not the logo.

“The imperfections in our logo make it special, à la the Tower of Pisa”

I laughed a lot at this. First off, the Tower is an architectural failure, an anomaly, and was never intended to lean. That’s the only reason people go see it. If you want people to come see Crew games just to look at our shitty logo then I will indeed have a tough time arguing with you.

Secondly, imperfections are something you get used to, not something you desire. If The Crew had started with a crisp logo, and I therefore never started this initiative, I doubt anyone would be begging for some imperfections to love.

“There’s nothing wrong with it! If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!”

There are quite a few things wrong with it actually. It is sloppy and lazy design work, and I shouldn’t have to say that is unacceptable for “America’s Hardest Working Team”. A bit of what I’m referring to: you notice the jagged angles and messy detail in the dude’s shirts? That happens when a designer uses tracing software to turn bitmap graphics into vectors. The computer to guesses how to draw your image, instead of doing it yourself. Essentially, a lazy designer let the computer do the work for him or her. The result? A logo with detail so irrelevant it doesn’t reproduce when embroidered (scarves, hats, jerseys) or when printed at sizes less than 2 inches (tickets, program guides, advertising).

I get into more detail about why the current logo sucks in the Photos section of the Facebook group.

“A logo can’t becoming iconic or legendary if you keep changing it.”

I almost fell for this one. It seems logical. However, an “iconic” team logo is nothing more than a symbol of what the team has accomplished. A team with a long history and great triumphs will have an iconic logo no matter how many times it changes. Some examples of legendary teams whose logos have changed multiple times:

Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Rangers, Aston Villa, AC Milan, Inter Milan, Ajax, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Lyon, Marseille, Bayern Munich

And for those of you kidding yourselves, The Crew has ONLY been around for 12 years. For some perspective, Arsenal, who have changed their badge many times, were founded in EIGHTEEN EIGHTY-SIX and enjoy worldwide support.

“Rebranding costs a fortune”

This is probably true. However, when done at the right time, the choice to make this investment is easy… and businesses do it all the time. A new championship is putting a lot of curious eyes on The Crew. We need to impress.

“I am not opposed to a new logo but this one isn’t my cup of tea”

Awesome. All I want is a crisp, professional-quality logo for my team. If it’s not mine, that’s OK. Please post up your ideas on the Facebook group.

After all that, I have made some changes based on the reasoned, constructive feedback I received from people. The updated version is below.

(Thanks to the Facebook group, the .02% of BigSoccer contributors that had something intelligent to say, a couple of people on Astroheader, and my friends)