unrefined soccer commentary from two americans who know everything

Browsing all posts from March, 2009.

ALMOST POETRY

Written by: Gabe

Bravo US men for the come-from-behind 2-2 tie, but The win was practically handed to Brian Ching twice on a silver platter in the final two minutes. A win is always good, but this one would have been poetic, because those final two minutes only existed because El Salvador chose to feign at least six [...]

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WHAT THE?…THE PREM, ROUND 30

Written by: Tyler

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it. Arsenal continues in good form with another win, 1-3 against Newcastle. Arsenal is working [...]

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REC RULES (#2)

Written by: Gabe

The search for lost glory. The registration fees. The tragic team names. The championship t-shirts. The inflated egos. The weekend war. This is rec league soccer. The rec league is in many ways like a bloodsoaked Darwinian social experiment. Due to the impossible task of evaluating new, unfamiliar teams, league organizers have no choice but [...]

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VANCOUVER JOINS MLS

Written by: Tyler

Major League Soccer has awarded Vancouver (Canada…duh) a franchise that will join the league in 2011. Vancouver will be the 17th team in Major League Soccer. Portland, St Louis and Ottawa are awaiting the MLS to add a second franchise in 2011. In other news, Barcelona reversed their position on helping place a Major Soccer [...]

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IRAQ: NOT AS SAFE AS YOU THOUGHT

Written by: Gabe

Soccer isn’t generally a violent sport, crazed fans notwithstanding. But, as many of us know, all it takes is one such crazed fan to wreck a party. Even so, I’ve never heard of an incident quite as dramatic as what happened in Iraq this week, wherein a player was shot in the head during play [...]

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WHAT THE?…THE PREM, ROUND 29

Written by: Tyler

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it. The Fight for Forth Place: Aston Villa stumbled again with a 2-1 lost to [...]

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Los Angeles Galaxy Wanker #2

Written by: JustJV

First off, props to Andrea Canales who wrote a very smart column appearing on cnnsi.com, about how “MLS’ quest to keep David Beckham reeks of desperation and sheer naivete.” True, true. What I can not understand is how Beckham could be such a HUGE wanker, and so completely lack any kind of savvy to guide [...]

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Los Angeles Galaxy Wanker #1

Written by: JustJV

Landon Donovan, on his loan stint to Bayern Munich: “I’m not sure I wouldn’t have changed if I hadn’t gone.” Emphasis mine. Go ahead, figure that one out.

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BECKHAM THEORY

Written by: Gabe

David Beckham just wants one of two things. (A) Play at the top level of world football. Nothing feels better than knowing you’ve still got it. But in soccer terms, David is a bit of a geezer, and he knows it. So, in 2007, he opted for… (B) Create a legacy. Put his stardom to [...]

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MANU FAN JUST LOVES EMMA

Written by: Gabe

Ah, the old Pretend-to-be-a-hot-mistress-when-you-are-really-two-Liverpool-fans-who-are-also-cage-fighters trick. I have to give them respect for the quality of this prank, but I’m afraid it’s a few steps out of touch, so to speak. I mean, they broke the guy’s ankle and got him divorced? For supporting Manchester United? You must read this cautionary tale of a life lived [...]

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