What I can not understand is how Beckham could be such a HUGE wanker, and so completely lack any kind of savvy to guide his career.  Consider these clumsy missteps:

#1. Coming to America. What’s all this rot about being an ambassador for the sport? Growing the sport in the U.S.? Blah, blah, blah? If indeed OrangeShorts is right with his theory, and Beckham had any kind of savvy, he would have researched the league, and the Galaxy in particular. Consequently he should have realized that the Galaxy weren’t very good, and that–despite what some might say about the level of play–he certainly couldn’t just walk in and dominate play. What an absurd notion.

#2. Transfer-on-the-Sly. In his next brillant move, Beckham tried to engineer a loan, and then a transfer without communicating with the Galaxy. Again, not just the club for whom he was playing, but where he allegedly made the commitment to be an ambassador, grow the sport, blah, blah, blah. All out the window, just like that.

#3 Adding Insult to Injury. And, he paid–PAID!–out of his own pocket to make the transfer happen! From Canales’ column: “It’s not just that Beckham had declared numerous times that AC Milan is wonderful and he wants to play there, and it’s not just that he has added nothing complimentary about the Galaxy or MLS. It’s that he has put his money conclusively where his mouth is. Beckham has thrown his own funds into the deal to extend his loan in Italy, reportedly paying more out of his own pockets than the entire amount Milan offered MLS.” Are you kidding me?!

#4 Says He’s Gonna Come Back! Becksy, do you really want to come back after the Serie A season is over? To the team you hate so much you paid not to play for them? To the sub-par league where you barely made a difference on the field? To the country where 99.9% of the people don’t give a shiny new sarong about you? To the competitive environment where hard-workin, proud, strapping young American boys who won’t make as much in a lifetime as you make in a year are going to have access to your knees, ankles, achilles tendons, etc.? REALL??

The sheer stupidity of it boggles the mind.

See you in July!

David Beckham just wants one of two things.

(A) Play at the top level of world football. Nothing feels better than knowing you’ve still got it. But in soccer terms, David is a bit of a geezer, and he knows it. So, in 2007, he opted for…

(B) Create a legacy. Put his stardom to work and establish a lasting culture of Beckham soccer. Effectively, retire on a plan that makes David a hero.

As he promised of his run in MLS, David would spend five years cultivating soccer in America, teaching children and building respect from coast to coast. A noble challenge, but possible for a guy with a profile as high as Dave’s… oh, and, with a little, um, hard work? See, apparently, this part of the plan was left out of the explanation to our hero. It seems David expected to just show up and that would be good enough. He would without a doubt excel in play and propel his team to a cup (after all this is America), in his mind. The rest—the kids, the respect, the future—would fall into place. Violá, legacy.

Reality set in for Dave probably by his fifth loss with LA: his team sucks, and the league (while not top-tier in a global sense) is much better than he thought. How could he champion a century of American soccer growth if he can’t even win a few games? Suddenly Dave was between a rock and a hard place; he could have neither A nor B. The right thing to do at this point would have been to lead his team a la Columbus savior Barros Schelotto, but you could see in his face after every goal against that instead he became frustrated, increasingly lazy, resented his teammates, and ultimately withdrew from his promises. Essentially, it was too hard. And he is a douchebag.

THEN! By the grace of God a respectable top-tier club in Italy showed interest in David’s ability to perform at a substandard level (read: move jerseys) and Dave couldn’t wait to sell out for the forgotten glory that is option A. Good luck with those caps, Dave.

I actually believed he was a good guy with great intentions and actual determination. In reality, he’s a spoiled elitist with an ego so self-centered it could compete with an Earth-devouring black hole. Hopefully he’ll go, and fade out, and never come back. We’ll call this option C.