ASTROHEADER » Columbus Crew

Tweeting the Crew Game

Tyler — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:28:29 +0000

Columbus Crew end their ’09 season in a playoff match that showcased everything wrong with MLS. #crew

Now I Hate Baseball Even More

Gabe — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:12:35 +0000

I recently complained about the MLS playing games on American football fields. I thought it couldn’t get worse in terms of venue for a professional soccer team. THEN I watched Columbus play at Kansas City in the first round of playoffs last night… ON A BASEBALL FIELD. Officials claim the converted CommunityAmerica Ballpark accommodated the FIFA minimum 70-yard width. I cross-checked a couple of maps and pet supplement market
it actually worked out. There is JUST enough room for a minimum size pitch. The field just LOOKED 40 yards wide because we are used to watching quality matches on decent fields, 90 or so yards wide. The 70 yard minimum, as one ONN announcer put it, is more like a bowling alley. Don’t get me started on bowling!

Just look at this map!

You can sit on the grass (“cauldron”) 4 inches from the field, or pay for a seat in section 103, a location far enough away that you have to pay a different county’s sales tax on your ticket. This stadium looks like a Christmas ornament when you put a soccer field in it.

Conclusion: Play in a rectangle!!!

RBNY 3-1 Crew

Gabe — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 12:14:32 +0000

New York played a game in tippy-top form last night to take an important three from Columbus at Giants Stadium. There are a lot of isolated thoughts I had watching this game, so please enjoy my PowerPoint-style bullet list. In order:

• I hate watching soccer played on American football fields. HATE. Bonus: This one had an NFL logo in the middle of it. We already feel like a second-rate league, playing on a gridiron makes it feel like a second-rate sport… which of course it isn’t.

• Announcers with accents from the isles make the game feel at least twice as legit. It’s superficial, I know, but you know it’s true.

• Guillermo Barros Schelotto is really good.

• Juan Pablo Angel is really really good. This time.

• WHAT THE SHIT IS ANDY GRUENEBAUM DOING AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH MOST EMBARRASSING GOAL OF THE SEASON EVER!!!!!!! Ever seen a top-table team get scored on by the opposing goalie from 75 yards out? Check the replay of this game to broaden your frame of reference. This was the first goal in the history of the MLS ever scored by a goalkeeper.