WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

• West Brom is trying to claw out of the bottom of the table and beat Tottenham 2-0 on either way. Tottenham got a huge boost after Redknapp took over, but has fallen apart over the last few games.

• Liverpool man-handled Newcastle 5-1 to stay atop the Prem. Then Steven Gerrard went out and got into a little tussle and wound up in jail for 21 hours. I’m sure being a big footballer he will get out of any real trouble.

• Chelsea had Fulham in the way of their chase to catch Liverpool. American Dempsey scored twice, the last in the 89th minute to force Chelsea into a 2-2 draw. Chelsea has finally lost ground to Liverpool due to their inability to put games away. Plus, it is great to see an American put the pain on Chelsea.

• Aston Villa managed a 1-0 own goal win against Hull. This puts Aston Villa firmly in 4th place in front of Arsenal. On the other hand Hull City has really fallen apart in the last few weeks.

• Manchester United and Arsenal both pulled in 1-0 wins to stay in the race of a spot in Europe.

Blimey, I just read Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard has been arrested for assault.

Steve, I don’t know you very well (and the few times we’ve met have been frankly impersonal and unbearably discreet), but something has always rubbed me the wrong way about you. On the field (read: pitch) you come off as whiny and short-tempered. Maybe you look like someone from my childhood who was an asshole, which would be admittedly unfair but kind of freaky because given today’s news, it’s reasonable to now assume you actually are an asshole.

Of course, it’s very likely you were egged on. An excuse to be sure, but I am of the opinion that adults—especially those with piles and piles money—shouldn’t pound another person’s skull for any reason short of an attempt by that person to pound the skull of said adult. (Steve, you’re the adult in this scenario)

If you were attacked, Mr. Gerrard, please accept my apologies and carry on. I must concede that there is no better response to an attempted skull-pounding than a successful retaliatory skull-pounding of your own. But, assuming you were not attacked (given that you were arrested), I will stand by my position that you may indeed be an asshole.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

The Boxing Day fixtures had a few interesting results with one team falling apart.

• Tottenham is still just outside the relegation zone after a 0-0 draw with Fulham. Fulham continues its impressive form as they continue in the top half of the Prem table.

• Manchester United scored in the 83rd minute to scrape by with a 1-0 against Stoke. This keeps Man U in 3rd place with two games in hand.

• Manchester City throttled Hull 5-1 to get out of the relegation zone. Hull is slowly falling down the table and seems to be falling apart.

• Chelsea and Liverpool both won to keep the standard 1-point Liverpool lead on the table.

• Aston Villa continued its impressive play with a 2-2 draw against Arsenal to stay three points ahead of Arsenal on the table.

The next round of games are Sunday.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

This round was similar to last round. Manchester United was in Japan winning the Club World Cup, so they are now in forth on the table with two games in hand.

• With a 1-0 win against West Ham, Aston Villa is now in third place on the Prem table. It is nice to see someone other than the usual big 4 near the top of the table.

• The wheels came off at Hull City this weekend as they suffered a horrid 4-1 defeat to Sunderland.

• Can you believe this? Fulham is 8th on the Prem table as we come close to the mid way point in the season. This weekends 3-0 win against Middlesbrough sent them to 8th and they still have a game in hand.

• Manchester City on the other hand fell into the relegation zone with a 2-1 lost to bottom feeders West Brom. That wont make the new owners very happy. Time to start spending those billions on some talent.

• Ten man Arsenal managed to hold Liverpool to a 1-1 draw. Liverpool can’t expect to hold the top of the table with all these draws.

• Chelsea was handed a golden opportunity to take the top of the table after a Liverpool draw. And just like last week, Chelsea let it slip away with a 0-0 draw against Everton to maintain second on the table.

The upcoming weekend will be big with two rounds of games in 4 days.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

This round was a little more entertaining than the ties of last week.

• Who said Arsenal was done? Chelsea hosted Arsenal in a must win game if Arsenal had any chance winning the Prem this season. Van Persie took the game into his hands and scored twice in 3 second half minutes to lead Arsenal to a 2-1 win at Stamford Bridge. Arsenal still has a lot of work to do but this was a big blow for Chelsea as they try to keep up with Liverpool at the top of the table.

• Speaking of Liverpool, they had a chance to go 3 points clear at the top when they met West Ham on Monday at Anfield. Unfortunately they were held to a 0-0 draw which now puts them at the top of the table by 1 point instead of a potential 3. I’m pulling for Liverpool this year because I would like to see someone other than Chelsea, Man U and Arsenal win it.

• Tottenham lost their first game at home under Redknapp with a 0-1 lost to Everton. Tottenham are still out of the relegated zone but only based on goal differential. Still too close for comfort.

• Two of the new boys meet with Stoke and Hull battling to a 1-1 draw. Hull City is still battling for a place in Europe, currently sitting in 6th, 2 points behind Aston Villa.

• The Manchester derby was this weekend and saw plenty of talking before the game with Man U players claiming the new money backing Man City wont help them against their in town rivals. Manchester United backed up the talk with a 1-0 win at the Eastlands. The lone goal was scored by Rooney and saw Ronaldo sent off in the 68th minute. Manchester is still 6 points from the top with one game in hand.

Arsenal 2-1 Chelsea

Arsenal scored 3 goals in a 2-1 win over Chelsea at the Bridge.

Many of you have surmised that one of these was an own goal, and was indeed the first of two trashy goals scored in this match. The first was the own-goal from Djourou that was frankly the fault of keeper Almunia. I’m not sure if his bleached hair is affecting his judgment, or is simply an indicator of it. After a terrible redistribution, Djourou was forced to scramble in a slide to stop a cross from the Blue. Instead he slipped one past off the bottom of his shoe. Whoops.

Next came a missed call from the ref and an obvious offside by Van Persie, although the shot itself was a thing of wonder. We’re now tied at 1-1.

But the THIRD goal, ooh la la. Van Persie slides a beauty into the side net, through the legs of (I think?) John Terry. A 2-1 victory for the otherwise stumbling Arsenal, and a due chink in the Chelsea armor.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

This was the round of ties in the Prem. Quite a boring week unless you are a Arsenal fan.

• Manchester United tied Aston Villa 0-0
• Chelsea tied Newcastle 0-0
• Liverpool tied Fulham 0-0. (ouch) Fulham was an early pick by many to be relegated but currently is in 9th place after 14 rounds. Well done.

• Tottenham got back to their new form under Redknapp with a 1-0 win against Blackburn. This pulls Tottenham out of relegation again, currently sitting in 15th place.

• How low can Arsenal go? Arsenal captain William Gallas went on a rant midweek against…the whole team. Talk about team drama. Wenger was less than thrilled with the episode and not only removed Gallas as captain but left him in London as the team went to Manchester to play Man City. Well, things didnt get much better in Manchester as Arsenal lost 0-3. So…yeah. Arsenal is now 10 points from the top. Well, maybe next year.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

• While not a surprise, Manchester United beat Stoke 5-0. What you would have missed was the insane goals scored by Man U in this game. Three of the five goals were scored from 20+ yards out and Ronaldo scoring twice to break the 100 goal mark for Man U.

• Tottenham suffered their forst loss since Redknapp took over as skipper. A 2-1 loss to Fulham of all teams dropped Tottenham back into the relegation zone.

• Arsenals issues continue with a 2-0 loss to Aston Villa. Arsenal really needs to get their boats straight or they will not even qualify for the UEFA Cup next season.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

Another boring week in the Prem with just a few games that are worth mentioning.

• Tottenham continued undefeated under Redknapp as Tottenham beat newly minted Man City 2-1. This win brings Tottenham out of the relegation zone. How does Harry do it?

• Struggling Arsenal had to face Manchester United this weekend. There has been much talk about Arsenal and how it might be time to move Wenger up to a director position and bring in a new skipper. Then Man U walked into the Emirates and walked out with a 2-1 loss. Arsenal hasn’t exactly made up for all the losses to bad teams but it is a move in the right direction.

• The table has Chelsea tied with Liverpool with 29 points but Chelsea has a sizeable goal lead. Arsenal are third with 23 points and Man U in forth with 21 points and a game in hand.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review with only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

The weekend games during Round 11 more than made up for the lame midweek games. Where to start?

• While the final score is not a surprise, the game was. Manchester United needed all of their 4 goals to beat Hull City 4-3. Hull City would not give up as they were down 4-1 to keep Man U on their feet. This was a tough week for Hull City as they played Chelsea and Man U in a four day span. Hull City is now in 6th place on the table and Man U is 3rd.

• Arsenal is really having trouble with “easy” teams this year. Arsenal lost to new boys Stoke 2-1. How do you ask? Well, off of throw-ins to be honest. Do not be confused, these throw-ins are more like corner kicks and Rory Delap now has 5 assists off his throws this year thus far. The first goal honestly looked like it was just thrown into the far corner of the goal. Arsenal has now lost to Hull City, Fulham and Stoke, all teams that most would consider an easy 9 points. The lost left Arsenal 6 points behind the leaders.

• Tottenham (last in the Prem) had to play Liverpool (first in the Prem) at White Hart Lane. I know that Redknapp has performed miracles with other teams but Tottenham beating Liverpool is a pipe dream. Liverpool scored in the first 3 minutes. I turned off the tv. Then Tottenham decided to come back and beat Liverpool 2-1 (Liverpool did hit the pole half a dozen times). So let me get this straight, Tottenham could not beat anyone, literally, then Redknapp takes the same team and ties Arsenal and beats Prem leading Liverpool. I don’t even know what to say.