WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

• Manchester United secured the Premier League title with a 0-0 draw with Arsenal.
  

• Fulham held on to the critical seventh position with a 1-0 win against Newcastle. Tottenham is only two points behind Fulham going into the last week.

• West Brom lost 0-2 against Liverpool to be the first confirmed relegated team.

• Going into the last round, Middlesbrough, Newcastle and Hull are all fighting for their Premiership lives.

I’m in the midst of watching the second leg of the Manchester United versus Arsenal UEFA Champions League matchup wondering if the gunners can score five in the next 20 minutes to win on aggregate. What I mean is, Arsenal is out. Again.

This game should teach everyone how lethal mistakes are with Christiano Ronaldo breathing down your neck. Time to rethink your player development strategy, Arsene.

Ooh, a PK.

Ah, the old Pretend-to-be-a-hot-mistress-when-you-are-really-two-Liverpool-fans-who-are-also-cage-fighters trick. I have to give them respect for the quality of this prank, but I’m afraid it’s a few steps out of touch, so to speak. I mean, they broke the guy’s ankle and got him divorced? For supporting Manchester United? You must read this cautionary tale of a life lived in the shadow of widespread EPL hysteria.

Beckham has secured a new deal with AC Milan and the LA Galaxy. The dual contract will allow Beckham to stay with AC Milan till the end of the Serie A season and wont return to the United States till mid July. Beckham will miss 3+ months of the MLS season.

On the other hand, Landon Donovan is returning to LA this week. Scoring 4 goals in 5 friendly games for Bayern Munich was not enough to secure a more permanent move like LA teammate David Beckham.

Spanish La Liga leaders FC Barcelona have announced that they will not pursue an MLS expansion team in Miami insisting that current global market conditions make the deal hard.

The new MLS expansion team, the Seattle Sounders, have announced 20,000 season tickets have already been sold for their debut season.

Manchester United beat Tottenham4-1 on penalties after a 0-0 score during regulation to win the 2009 Carling Cup.

I usually dont bother with the other cups in the English game but this season will be interesting. With Manchester United winning the Carling Cup and having the Premier Leauge in sight, that leaves the FA Cup and the Champions Leauge left to pull off the Quad.

It is rare enough for one English team to win 3 of the 4 competitions. Man U has a good chance to win all four Cups. Stay tuned.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

• Tottenham used three early goals to beat Stoke 3-1. This win lifts Tottenham up to 13th place in the table and a little breathing room from the relegation zone.

• Aston Villa has pulled five points clear of Arsenal for the critical 4th place in the Prem table with a 1-0 win at Portsmouth.

• Arsenal needed a 92nd minute goal by Van Persie to secure a 1-1 draw at Everton.

• Liverpool continued to produce tie games with a 1-1 game against Wigan. All these draws are starting to catch with Liverpool as they dropped to 3rd in the table.

• With a 2-0 win against Middlesbrough, Chelsea has regained 2nd place in the table. Chelsea and Liverpool are currently tied with 48 points but Chelsea has the edge with goal differential.

• With a 5-0 drubbing of West Ham, Manchester United has gone 2 points clear at the top of the table with a game in hand.

WHAT THE? is my weekly Premiership review column where I write about the crap I found interesting in the latest round of Prem games. This is about me, not you, so I don’t want to hear you bloody whine about it.

Since my cable got rid of the Fox Soccer Channel, it is really hard to watch these games….stupid cable.

• Liverpool has continued adding draws to their record with a 0-0 scoreline at newly promoted Stoke. Liverpool has had the opportunity to put this season almost out of reach but continue to make minor slip ups….LIKE DRAWING WITH NEWLY PROMOTED CLUBS.

• Hulls great form at the beginning of the season has continued to slip. Everton managed a 2-0 win at home against Hull to maintain sixth place and just one spot from Europe.

• Aston Villa has retained forth place in the Prem table with a 2-1 win against bottom dwellers West Brom. Villa’s current form will give them an excellent chance to gain a spot in Champions League qualifying next term.

• Wigan beat Tottenham 1-0 which had two outcomes. The first being Tottenham still sitting in the relegation zone. The second outcome was the vicious outburst by Tottenham skipper Redknapp that he will need new players if Tottenham wants to stay up in the Prem next season. I guess the honeymoon period is over.

• The big game this weekend was Chelsea visiting Manchester United. It was a game till the second half and finished with an impressive (or lackluster if you are a Chelsea fan) 3-0 win for Manchester United. Man U are curently 5 points behind leaders Liverpool but have 2 games in hand. The first of those makeup games are this Wednesday against Wigan. If Man U were to win both of the games they would be leading the league by a point.

So the financial crisis has hit the soccer business, and I’m not talking about slowing kit sales. American International Group, better know as AIG, are having a little trouble. They were recently saved by the United States government to the tune of $85 billion USD. Not a small amount. In order to manage the current issues at home, AIG has to take another look at their kit sponsorship with Manchester United.

The deal that AIG signed with Manchester was approximately $110 million USD in a four year deal. Many don’t believe that the amount spent on these kit deals are worth it. AIG is one of the largest companies in the United States and the world.

I learned what AIG was from the Manchester United sponsorship, and I live in America.

Sponsorship deals with teams like Manchester United create more brand recognition than most marketing mediums in this day. I could name many of the top teams in Europe and pair them with the sponsor on their shirts.

Don’t shed a tear for Manchester United. Even in this tough economic time, companies will line around the block to get their name on a Man U shirt.

Of course Dimitar Berbatov is begging to leave the annual underachieving Tottenham (not so) Hotspurs. A bigger question is why Manchester United is trying so diligently to sign Berbatov. And for £20+ million? You have to be joking.

The only argument for signing Berbatov is the 15 goals he scored for Tottenham last season. Which makes sense. Manchester United is a little weak in the scoring department (cough…Ronaldo, Tevez, Rooney…cough).

Ronaldo is hurt (only for a few more weeks) and Tevez was out due to a death in the family, Man U needs help. Well, they did drop points at home to Newcastle in the season opener. If your car breaks down and is going to be in the shop for a few weeks do you go out and buy a new Mercedes? No. And with the depth that Manchester United has?

Another possibility is Man United is trying to steal good players to harm other clubs. Did I mention that Tottenham finished in the bottom half of the table last year? Down with that theory.

Manchester United’s reasoning for wanting to purchase Berbatov is the “lack” of fire power with the current injuries. I suppose if they have the money and Dimitar wants the move then go for it. My fear is what I call the Big Four Syndrome. The Big Four Syndrome is when good players that can start for 80% of the Prem teams go to one of the Big Four clubs (Chelsea, Man U, Liverpool and Arsenal) and end up sitting the bench or playing in less important games.

Are you going to pick Dimitar Berbatov over a health Rooney or Tevez? Probably not. We have seen the Big Four Syndrome work like a factory at Chelsea over the last three years. There are under two weeks left in the transfer window so the deal could still fall through, if Berbatov is lucky.

I’m not going to bore you with the usual Premiership review, only the interesting events that should not have happened in the first place.

To start, Manchester United dropped points, to Newcastle, at home. The game ended in a 1-1 draw. We all know how tight the race is at the top of the Prem and Man U can not be losing points at home (did I mention Chelsea won 4-0 over Portsmouth?). Man U was playing without Tevez and Ronaldo so……no excuse, they are Man U, you don’t drop points at home to Newcastle.

Next we look at the new boys Hull City. Nothing like a win in your first ever appearance in the top flight. While they are playing the horrible Fulham that no longer have McBride, they did come back from behind and grabbed 3 points when every points count for promoted clubs. Final score, 2-1. Hats off to Hull City.

Now the biggest disappointment, for me anyways. I start every season with high hopes for Tottenham. They have the players to post a respectable season. Tottenham lost 2-1 to Middlesbrough. This season is starting exactly like last season. Tottenham also just announced that they are not going to sign Russian playmaker Andrei Arshavin. I don’t even know what to say.

After looking at next weeks fixtures I dont see much trouble brewing, but we will have to see.